10 April 2010

Well, what DID you expect?

Crabby, pissy-looking old lady: [cue cracked, frail, wispy yet bitchy voice] I have a complaint [waives DVD around]
Me: How can I help you with that?
CPLOL: [stands in front of my desk, looking like a shrew just gnawed on her left cheek] This movie. This movie. OH, THIS MOVIE!
Me: Is there something wrong with it?
CPLOL: Well, look at it, just look at it, this...this... is...is...isssssss...issssss... OBSCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: [Looks at movie. The tagline of said movie is "Disgusting. Offensive. Stupid." On the cover, there is a man wielding a machine gun and a dumb looking female in a bikini standing next to a chimp with a midget] I'm sorry you didn't like it, can I help you find something else?
CPLOL: No. And I'll tell you what else, CHILDRRREEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN [drags this out in bitchy yet frail voice] can see this!
Me: Actually, they can't check it out. A person has to be 18 to check out movies. [If she would have died right there, it would have been my fault because I totally knocked the wind out of her sails, her joi de vivre gone, gone, gone, gone baby]
CPLOL: Oh, well, what if a child sees this?
Me: I mean, I guess that they could watch it with their parents, but that's up to the parent. It is rated R and again, if a person is under 18, they can't check out movies.
CPLOL: Well, I still didn't like it. And I wanted to make sure you knew that I didn't like it!

I'm so glad that you're so important in life that you wanted to take ten minutes out of my day to complain about a movie with a chimp, a midget, a moron and a bimbo on the cover that is also rated R. Why the hell did you check it out in the first place?

Oh yeah, to bitch about something. It's not even a matter of children seeing it, it's a matter of you not liking it.


  1. Heh heh heh. You took the wind out of HER sails, didn't you? Stupid bitch. I love how patrons think that just because they don't like something, it automatically means it should be banned from the collection. Nice try, please never come again.

    Tales from Library Land
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    (Sorry, I'm shamelessly promoting myself.)

  2. You can tell she waited all week for that moment. The other funny thing is that I double-checked to make sure the DVD was checked in and she had it so long that the system reported it lost. I wish I could have tripped her.

    Ha ha ha, you fame whore. :P