I've been stuck in management quagmire (and something terribly depressing happened today that not even massive amounts of wine can fix) and therefore, haven't had the pleasure of dealing with a lot of crazy patron shit. Boooooo, that means no good stories! Oh ho ho, you are wrong, because, rest assured, I have pulled an oldie but a goodie from the vault. This still remains one of my top ten favorite reference intereactions EVER!!!!!!!! This happened within the first few months of me being a reference librarian, before I entered the wacko world of management. It is a classic.
Teenage Patron: I need diagrams of the Middle Ages.
Me: Ok. Would you like something like, say, some paintings?
TP: No, pictures. Diagrams.
Me: Wait, you mean, photographs?
Me: Well, there aren't photographs. There are drawings and paintings and such. There wasn't really any sort of camera back then.
TP: (sounding exasperated with me) NO! NOT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVIES. I don't want movies, just pictures.
Me: Back then, there weren't movies and there wasn't really film because it wasn't invented yet.
TP: Ohhhhhh... So, even if I don't want movies of the Middle Ages, you don't have pictures either.
Me: People really didn't start using film to about the 1800s, which is way past the Middle Ages. [Hands the kid an encyclopedia]
TP: [Thumbs through it] So, no movies, no cameras, this is what people did? [Rolls his eyes] I guess this'll work, but it's too bad there aren't pictures or a movie I can watch.