25 March 2010

Fear in the heart of the reference librarian soul

there is nothing that strikes fear into the heart of my reference librarian soul more than these sayings:
-i need to fix my car (because this means possibly an hour long dialog about car parts where the patron assumes that i know what these parts are)
-do you have law books (because the patron assumes that i am a legal expert)
-i need to write a research paper (because the patron wants you to write the paper)
-i need something typed (beacuse, you are, after all, a typist)
-i need to find 15 children's books (because, dammit, i know shit about children's books, but i act like i do since i kinda have to being a branch manager)
-how do i write a resume (because this actually means, 'will you just write my resume for me?')
-how much is this coin/old toy/salt shaker/fake declaration of independence/grammy worth?
-my great grandmother's last name was smith and she lived in georgia. *blank stare* (because, of course, this means that you can instantly go to the google and whip up a family tree!)

i'm sure that there's something i'm forgetting, but these are the ones that came to mind first.

*please note that the above statements are different than the statements that strike fear into the management part of my life.


  1. You need to add "I'm looking for this book I read. It had a red cover. The mom dies in a car accident. Or maybe it was the son. I'm pretty sure one of the characters was named Tom. I think..."

  2. Holy shit, that is *spot on*.

    Last week I had some dumbass ask me for a non-fiction book about Christians with the word "Kingdom" in it. She didn't know anything else about it but by God she stood there until I finally found something on - I shit you not - www.christianbook.net to satisfy her idiot ass.