Because throwing a chunk of concrete at the library is the answer

A security guard put out three kids (ages 17-19). One of them was a girl and just ran off her nasty, foul mouth at the guard. She is just a disgusting human being.

The other two idiots are like Dumb and Dumber. Their response was to jump on one of those library stools with the wheels on it. But, hey, guess what? Two people can't fit on that shit at the same time.

Meanwhile, the guard was telling the three morons to leave, otherwise, he was going to call the police. This set Dumb and Dumber, who are two rampant potheads who make me jealous of the good shit that they get, paranoid, but the girl kept yapping.

At this point, I entered the picture, just coming back from a meeting. I told the three fuckwads not to come back. This of course, set them off even more, but they left the building.

The guard looked after them, saw that they were gone, I had to meet with someone else (yes, meeting, meeting, meeting and a meeting about a meeting with spurts of yelling at potheads is my life, yes, I went and got a master's degree for that shit), so we let it be.

Not two minutes later, I heard a large BOOM!

At first, I thought that they were shooting at the building, but then I realized that they're too stupid and too high to shoot, but that I wouldn't have put it past the girl. Then, I saw them running. If they were shooting, they would have gone for a window (ask me how I know this, but, you are intellgent readers, I'm sure you can figure it out) and then would have ran. We walked outside and realized that one of the idiots ripped out a chunk of concrete from the sidewalk and then sailed it at the building.

Then, while we were inspecting the damage, the stupid fuckers came back to call us names. Really?!

I bet within a week they're going to try to come back into the branch. I'll remind them that the 'white bitch' will not be letting them back in any time soon. The best part is that when I called the police (two of the officers gave me their personal cell phone numbers), they pulled up, looked at the damage, knew which dumbfucks did it, and said that they'll give "'em a good scare on the streets."

I never thought I would have such a good relationship with the popo.

For now, I'm going to have another glass of wine and imagine that I'm independently wealthy and living in the south of France. And if you see typos here, please blame the excess wine and thank you.

Because throwing things at me is the answer to everything

I'm not sure when the practice of common decencey and respect flew out the window, but I see it everyday in many shapes and forms.

Let's take Lemon Ricotta Lady and her jerkish ways as an example to illustrate the above point.

We had a typical Monday morning: busy, lots of people checking out, needing things, and wanting tax forms. In essence, it's nothing out of the norm.

I happened to be on the phone with a patron that I knew was in the hospital and she had some fines on her card. We were trying to find a good time to meet to discuss this and she wanted to come in later, but I wouldn't be in and yaddayaddayadda. You don't care about the details. If you do, I can email them to you.

So, here in strolls Lemon Ricotta Lady, who sees that I'm on the phone and hears that it's clearly a library-related call. I try to look up and make eye contact, but she isn't having any of that.

Instead of being patient and waiting, she THROWS a piece of paper at me.

THROWS.
A.
PIECE.
OF.
MOTHERFUCKINGPAPERATME!

I seethed. I seethed. I seethed.

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT YOU CAN JUST THROW SHIT AT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I let the paper fall to my desk and saw her request. It wasn't anything urgent. She always takes forever in here since she's old, which is fine. But you know what? Just because you're older than dirt that doesn't mean that you can interrupt me or THROW SHIT AT ME.

When I ended the call with my nice and kind patron, Lemon Ricotta Lady plopped down at the chair next to my desk and asked if I had the information for her. Of course I did, because I'm an awesomeasfuck reference librarian, and handed it over.

Do you know what she had the nerve to say?

"Oh, this is long. 9 pages? I don't know if I want 9 pages. Can't you just get something from Google."

Seetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseetheseethe.

"No, actually, this is better than Google. We pay for this subscription database. Any wackjob can make a website, this is reliable information right here."