Safelink Wireless can die a painful, burning death

Immediately when the library opened, this guy walks up to me and says, "I want a phone." Luckily, I don't even have to ask because I know that's code for Safelink Wireless, which I hate with a burning, searing passion because everybody and their sister thinks that the library hands out phones and that it's the library's responsibility for the upkeep and troubleshooting of these phones.

So, at 9:30 a.m., while I'm trying to get the building open, this motherfucker sits down in my little chair next to my messy little desk and proceeds to chew on his gums (note: I did not say 'chewing gum.' Indeed, I did say 'chew on his gums' as in, he was literally chewing on his toothless gums, which quite possibly is in the the running for the top ten most disgusting things you can do in a library, such as shitting in a chair and having sex in the library bathroom, because I really can't stand the sound of chewing, let alone chewing on one's flappy gums) while he digs around in his wallet for his ID. I started asking for ID because it's just easier than asking people questions and getting a blank stare in response.

When I'm done with the registration, my computer freezes up. The registration doesn't take long at all, but of course, since it's Monday morning and 10 people want 10,000 different things from me, the fucking system has to freeze up.

And then, JOY, I get to do it again for this old fucker, who got pissy with me because I had to ask him the last four of his SSN number all over again. Really? You're getting a free phone out of this, you have no teeth, you smell like garbage, what the fuck else do you have to do today?

Take your damned Obama phone registration confirmation and let me get on with the shit I have to do today.