Fines

You know what really helps your cause when you want to try to get fines waived?

a). Referring the manager who has the power to do that (like, oh, say, me!) a "the devil."
b). Screaming about said fines all the way down the hallway of the library, both going in to and out of the building.
c). Lying about what you checked out and when and just being a stark raving lunatic about the whole thing.
d). Calling the administrative offices to complain and then saying you're "going to get the mayor in this." (Because, the mayor doesn't have anything else to do that deal with your $20 in library fines).
e). Calling the library the next day and referring to the children's librarian as a "stupid bitch" and then demanding to know "where the fuck the manager is" I was at a meeting, but the last time I checked, I didn't need to report to captain crazy pants. Since I'm the devil, I go where I wanna go).
f). All of the above.

If you guess "f" you win.

What do you win?

Oh, I don't know, maybe I'll waive your library fines...